first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
