you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
