my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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