Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
