I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
