someone get that fucking seahorse.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Randomize
