Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
