Too much gin, very little bucket
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
