so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
