Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He kissed a someone with a penis
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
