have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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