Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
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