I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
