i jhust puked up my retainher.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
