someone threw a dead crab at me
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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