Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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