even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
