May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
