So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
