he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize