Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize