Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
