I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
