omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
