This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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