i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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