got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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