just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
