We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm jealous of your bromance
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Four minutes until I can fart!
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
