Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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