Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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