when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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