woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
