Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
