I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
