you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
