Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
