Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
