I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
