Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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