eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
