Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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