I hate your face
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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