Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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