You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
