I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
