margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I just found puke in my bra..
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
