I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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