We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
