How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
