if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
