Can i not drive my cunt home
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
