I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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