told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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