stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
