Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize