He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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